I set out to find the words to Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens. I also found out what it would look like if Elmo and a chorus line of cartoon chickens danced along to the song.

If the network is the computer, we might be in a lot of trouble. Then again, I know the type of stuff that's tangled up in the back of my neurons, so I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised or worried.

• Currently drinking: Loose black tea with almond bits